Disrupted Attachment, Control, and Emotion Dysregulation: A Path to Violence in Netflix's Adolescence

In Netflix's Adolescence, the emotional struggles of its protagonist unfold in ways that feel raw, unsettling, and painfully real. The series dives deep into themes of family dynamics, the dark digital world, emotional volatility, and identity formation, yet beneath the surface lies a compelling exploration of attachment dynamics and control. Through his interactions with key adults, particularly his father and the assessing psychologist, the protagonist’s unpredictable emotional shifts, manipulative behaviours, and struggles with trust reflect patterns consistent with disorganised attachment. Drawing from our research exploring the links between control, insecure attachment, and emotional dysregulation (Walls, March, & Marrington, 2024), this article unpacks the psychological forces driving the protagonist’s actions, while recognising the complex web of influences that shape attachment patterns throughout adolescence.

Understanding Insecure and Disorganised Attachment

Rooted in attachment theory, disorganised attachment emerges when individuals experience relationships as both a source of comfort and fear. This internal conflict creates unstable patterns of relating — alternating between clingy dependence and defensive withdrawal (Main and Solomon, 1986). Early caregiver relationships play a significant role in shaping attachment styles, but these patterns continue to evolve throughout life. Adolescents, in particular, are influenced by experiences in school, peer interactions, and online environments, all contributing to how they learn to navigate connection, trust, and control (Bowlby, 1969). For young people facing instability in these environments, attachment patterns may become increasingly unpredictable.

The Hidden Influence of Online Spaces on Attachment and Identity Formation

The series also hints at the darker, less visible forces that can shape adolescent development. While the protagonist’s parents appear largely unaware, it is suggested that he is navigating an online world marked by cruelty, bullying, and manipulation. For young people with insecure attachment patterns, these online environments can be especially destabilising (Worsley et al., 2019). The anonymity and intensity of digital interactions amplify feelings of rejection and deepen insecurities. In this way, the protagonist’s struggles cannot be explained solely by family dynamics; they reflect a broader pattern of disconnection and instability — one shaped by school, social environments, and online experiences that left him feeling powerless and unseen.

Attachment Patterns in Key Relationships in Adolescence

The protagonist’s relationships with his father and psychologist reveal distinct facets of his disorganised attachment. With his father, the protagonist’s behaviour is marked by a painful blend of longing and resentment. While the series suggests his father cares deeply, details shared during the protagonist’s psychological interview point to moments when his father’s behaviour felt unpredictable or unsafe. This inconsistency likely contributed to the protagonist’s difficulty in trusting others. The emotional volatility in this relationship further amplifies the protagonist’s sense of insecurity.

In contrast, the protagonist’s interactions with the assessing psychologist highlight his internal conflict more vividly. While he occasionally opens up, these moments of vulnerability are often followed by abrupt emotional withdrawal or hostility. In one memorable scene, the protagonist tentatively confides feelings of isolation and frustration to the psychologist. Moments later, he becomes aggressive and dismissive, mocking the psychologist’s attempts to connect. This rapid shift — from vulnerable to defensive — reflects the internal tension characteristic of disorganised attachment: a strong desire for connection undermined by a fear of rejection or betrayal. Patterns of disorganised attachment are common in individuals who have experienced relationships as both comforting and threatening. Our research found that this often contributes to them responding to others with sarcasm, hostility, or emotional detachment. (Walls, March, & Marrington, 2024).

Control as a Coping Mechanism

Control emerges as a key theme in the protagonist’s behaviour. Whether through manipulation, aggression, or avoidance, he repeatedly attempts to assert dominance over the psychologist during assessment. These behaviours likely stem from an underlying need to manage overwhelming emotions. Our research shows that individuals with disorganised attachment, or those who have experienced unstable environments., often develop controlling behaviours as a way to create a false sense of security (Walls, March, & Marrington, 2024). By dictating social dynamics, they attempt to reduce the unpredictability that once caused them distress. While these strategies may offer short-term relief, they ultimately reinforce isolation and emotional distress — a tragic yet common outcome for those with unresolved relational trauma.

Emotional Dysregulation and the Struggle for Control

Our research also highlights that insecure attachment is strongly linked to emotion dysregulation — the difficulty in managing intense emotions effectively (Walls, March, & Marrington, 2024). This dysregulation often drives impulsive or defensive behaviours, fueling cycles of emotional instability. In Adolescence, these patterns are reflected in the protagonist’s volatile emotions and controlling behaviours, which appear to be rooted in a deep-seated fear of abandonment. Ultimately, this led to the tragic outcome of him brutally taking a fellow adolescent female's life. His heightened emotional reactivity mirrors our research findings, which link both anxious and avoidant attachment to emotional instability and controlling tendencies (Walls, March & Marrington, 2024).

A Broader Perspective on Attachment and Growth

While attachment patterns are deeply rooted, they are not unchangeable. Research highlights that positive, stable relationships — whether with teachers, mentors, peers, or therapists — can provide new experiences of trust and connection. Over time, these supportive relationships can help individuals develop healthier emotional regulation and break free from cycles of control and withdrawal (Ainsworth et al., 1978).

Practical Applications: Supporting Secure Attachment and Emotional Regulation

Adolescence highlights opportunities for meaningful intervention. By fostering environments that promote safety, connection, and emotional regulation, we can help young people develop healthier relational patterns and reduce maladaptive behaviours like control and manipulation. Here are some suggestions:

1. In Schools: Creating Safe and Supportive Learning Environments

Schools play a crucial role in shaping attachment patterns and social development. While they can’t replicate family bonds, they provide stabilising influences for students struggling with emotional dysregulation and insecurity. This can be encouraged through fostering relational safety, and building predictable, empathetic relationships with students creates stability and helps develop trust, especially for those with attachment insecurity (Durlak et al., 2011).

2. In Domestic Violence Prevention: Addressing Power and Control Dynamics

Unresolved attachment trauma increases the risk of controlling behaviours, which is critical in understanding domestic violence prevention. Early intervention programs are essential for teaching adolescents about healthy relationships, conflict resolution, and consent can disrupt harmful patterns before they become ingrained.

3. In Parenting: Fostering Secure Attachment at Home

Although no parent can offer perfect consistency, certain strategies can help reduce attachment anxiety and promote healthier coping through:

Emotional attunement: Regularly tuning in to a child’s emotional cues ensures they feel seen and supported, especially during the unpredictable emotional fluctuations of adolescence.
Rupture and repair: Conflicts are inevitable. What matters is how caregivers respond afterward, apologising, validating feelings, and restoring trust.
Promoting positive online engagement: Actively engaging in your child’s digital life and discussing online experiences provides an opportunity to offer emotional support and guidance.

References:

Ainsworth, M.D., Blehar, M.C., & Waters, E. (1978). Patterns of attachment: A psychological study of the strange situation. Halsted Press Division of Wiley.

Bowlby, J. (1969). Loss - sadness and depression: Attachment and loss volume 3. Random House.

Main, M., & Solomon, J. (1986). Discovery of an insecure-disorganized/disoriented attachment pattern. In T. B. Brazelton & M. W. Yogman (Eds.), Affective development in infancy (pp. 95–124). Ablex Publishing.

Walls, K. L., March, E., & Marrington, J. Z. (2024). Control in Intimate Relationships: An Exploration of Insecure Attachment Styles, Emotion Dysregulation, and Shame-Proneness. Journal of Family Violence, 1-15.

Worsley, J. D., McIntyre, J. C., & Corcoran, R. (2019). Cyberbullying victimisation and mental distress: Testing the moderating role of attachment security, social support, and coping styles. Emotional and Behavioural Difficulties, 24(1), 20-35.

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